All I had was what I’ve always heard and what I’ve always been told. Pretty much everyone can relate to that.
From the very beginning of my pregnancy I felt amazing. Well, almost from the very beginning.
I will use the word “adjust” a lot in my blog. So let’s start now and say: I needed to adjust my mind for a few hours and, maybe a few days. This baby has been truly discussed, thought, desired and conceived with love.
I don’t know about you, but when I saw this + sign on this piece of plastic, but yet life changer, my heart jumped and I sure needed to sit down.
At that moment, no matter how prepared and ready I was, everything became unsure and I lost my confidence.
This is where the balance we have in our couple became important. I told my husband probably 5 minutes after I figured out. I was scared he will panic. He was of course (on paper) ready to have a baby. I say -on paper- because I don’t think a man is ever “ready” to have a child before he is confronted to the baby, but this is an all different subject I will write about.
Indeed, he had the best answer I could ask for: getting excited and notably reassuring.
Two days latter: ready-set-start ! I was on to carry this (already) so loved child of ours, in the best way possible.
Life is a circle. I am lucky enough to have a sublime circle that graciously helped me flourishing this confidence I gained all along this journey.
Growing and hearing from your mother, all your life she was the most invincible person on earth when pregnant with you; that she felt the most beautiful mother on earth when pregnant with you; That nothing could ever touch her when pregnant with you… let me assure you, goes deep into your head, and for the best!
This was my heritage and I accomplished so much with it. I don’t think I am naturally that confident about myself. I am convinced this has been a key element to my happiness and well-being as a pregnant woman. I felt the exact same way as my mother. So I cherished the idea to do the same with my baby and pass on this heritage.
I remember days when we would not even go out of the house. My husband would see me put on some makeup, do my hair and ask me: “Babe, you look gorgeous you don’t need all of that”. To which I would answer “I am making myself prettier so she (the baby) can be proud of her maman”. This is certainly ridiculous but, looking back at it, I think this is important. It sets your mind positively, it makes you feel good about yourself, babies in the womb have connections with their moms, they can feel it.
But, all I say so far may appear repellent if you do not feel good, period. And I get it. I was extremely lucky I had a healthy pregnancy, I had the chance not to be working so I could relax when needed (yet, we moved cross country at the end of my first trimester…).
BUT, you can choose whether you want to try feelling better.
Before all of that started, I did not know how I would be feeling, everyone is different. So I decided to seriously take care of myself, to condition my body and mind. I practiced hot yoga and hiking on a regular bases. We decided to eat healthier too. My husband followed me and signed up for thaï box. The key here, is to pick something you like. We both felt good and strong. We were ready.
I continued my sport routine until 39 weeks.
This is such an important tool that can help you mentally and physically. Not only for this 9 months journey but also for thereafter. Those whose this is their first little one, you need to be prepared for the coming up twister. Going back to shape takes as much time as the pregnancy itself.
If your body does not have a minimum of foundation, this may be tougher. Even once a week, you need to exercise. I am not here to discourage and dampen you, I want you to move your little butt for your wellness and your baby’s wellness.
No, I am not a super-hero. I had my downs. I too, felt nauseous and tired the first trimester. I asked myself so many times what kind of mom I would end up being. Would I be able to raise a (happy) baby? After all… I have not accomplished a lot in my life yet, so why would I excell in that matter? This was my biggest fear.
I feel like these 9 months are also here to help us set our minds. This is why we should take advantage to what is given to us and use this time to do something: bond with baby, do sport, think….think a lot. Ask yourself questions, because the answers will come naturally.
My husband played a great job in my well-being. I don’t think there was one day when he did not tell me how beautiful I was. And I give him a big thumb up for that !
I know of people who have companions that just can’t see their wives pregnant. It is hard to not take it personally. A lot of moms-to-be are having a hard time with self esteem and this certainly does not help. Please, do not take it the wrong way.
Pregnancy is like traveling in time and going back to our dear teenage years. Our body is changing, our hormones are all over the place, and we don’t really know what the future will be like. The guys have to deal with it. Some like it, some don’t. If they don’t, and if you can’t feel good no matter how hard you try, or don’t try (because it’s your choice after all) keep in mind that: THIS SHALL PASS.
Quick and last advice related to the subject, that we should keep in mind for later: please, even if you don’t or didn’t have the best pregnancy/delivery, your baby is not responsible for it. He/she does not have to know much about it. They would take it for granted. As if someone would relate of a bad experience where you would be the main actor but not the writer, you would feel bad and guilty, so do they.