She is everything we asked for. We wanted a beautiful independent silly baby. We got her: the most beautiful independent silly girl. Playful, easygoing, a delight when it comes to eat, never had to get up at night, smiling, social…

You get it…mama bear’s speaking of her baby girl!

 

During my pregnancy I was over informed about baby bonding, skin to skin contact and tons of other techniques that help connecting with baby, which is good.

Except that I was not prepared to face such an independent baby. All the bondings techniques may have alleviated our connection (that is beautiful and unique) but it has nothing to do with the cuddles like I thought it would.

After 10 months sharing our life with our precious baby girl, we don’t really know what a snuggle feels like.

We tried everything. Mornings, evenings, pacifier, comforter toy. Before and after naps, baths, feedings. The more we try, the more pushes and rollovers we receive in exchange.

 

There are no doubts of her love for us, she has her ways to show it, but it is sometimes hard.

Some days are harder than others and all we need is a cosy snuggle with her. We are tired, she is exhausted. We would have expected a sweet and calm time when instead we have to deal with agitation.

 

We also heard about morning cuddles. Never experienced it either. After taking her breakfast in bed with us, she systematically jumps on us, rollovers, plays hide and seek…etc. Mornings are her most silly times, we love this show she gives us. But no cuddles.  

 

I pictured it too many times, me laying down, listening to her breathing while she falls asleep on my chest. I will not lie when I tell you that I happened to be heartbroken at the end of some days.

I even thought of hyperactivity or some signs of autism. To find out I grabbed my camera and filmed her for 20mn one day. We have a different perspective looking at situations on videos. Stepping back was a good idea. Nothing really caught my attention. She is just a happy baby enjoying life, too busy to consider a cuddle, for now.

 

It may come later and even if it does not, that’s fine. I needed time to accept and understand that love can be shown other ways, especially when it comes to baby.

With love,

E