How to… baby fashion

If you are obsessed with baby fashion you might like what I am about to share. I am often asked where I dress our daughter. I try to share the brands as much as I can on my instagram account @choux.nco but not everyone is on it and it is dispatched here and there.

If you want a little head’s up on French baby fashion, I was asked by another mama blogger to write a post about the basics:  

http://www.beiaandluna.com/single-post/2016/07/06/FRENCH-BABYS-FASHION

I don’t dress Elizabeth as a classic French baby though. I am more eclectic. My favorite brands are from all over the world. Read More »

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No cuddles from your baby | How to accept

She is everything we asked for. We wanted a beautiful independent silly baby. We got her: the most beautiful independent silly girl. Playful, easygoing, a delight when it comes to eat, never had to get up at night, smiling, social…

You get it…mama bear’s speaking of her baby girl!

 

During my pregnancy I was over informed about baby bonding, skin to skin contact and tons of other techniques that help connecting with baby, which is good.

Except that I was not prepared to face such an independent baby. All the bondings techniques may have alleviated our connection (that is beautiful and unique) but it has nothing to do with the cuddles like I thought it would. Read More »

How her father made me a better wife

Dads don’t babysit. (it’s called “parenting”)

A british dad became viral wearing his shirt from the National At-Home Dad Network. Even if stay at-home dads are a minority, I am glad to see there is also support for them.

In moms communities we tend to forget speaking about them. Or if we do, it’s to complain…the typical “Sex in the City” gossip.

Think about your partner’s qualities, mark what you gain from him, and think more and more about it.

I would like to take the opportunity to say how important my husband is to me and help you realize  how important yours is to you. Read More »

How we prepare our daughter to be strong

The day of our wedding, my dad gave a very powerful speech. The kind that, as a bride, daughter, wife and mom, I will never forget. Each and every one of his words went under my skin, spreading chills.

Part of it was about the woman I had become, from his point of view. “Yesterday the rebel kid, you have today developed into a determined woman, who carefully completes everything she undertakes. You impress me when I see the perfectionism you implement to meet your ambitions

[goosebumps…tears…goosebumps].

I had the happiest childhood surrounded by my parents and two siblings. My father is a businessman and my mother quit her career to take care of us. Only when you become a mother yourself you understand what it takes and what it means. I feel kind of ashamed not to have realized before. Because she has done and does so much for us.

My sister, brother and myself have been raised with authority. Of course with tons of love and a touch of craziness. Add to that an intense and long ballet training amongst the best ballet schools in Paris. I can pretty much admit I am comfortable with strictness.

In a society where authority over children is far from being popular, weakness/fragility/easiness have become a trend.

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Why are we happy to raise our daughter in the US?

Being a French mom of on American baby is compelling. There are many aspects of why her dad and I are proud to be raising a dual citizen, bilingual, multicultural baby. You might  think I am lucky to have the French parenting given to myself. Actually, I feel even luckier having French and American parenting offered to me.

French mothers have the keys to have calm and/or maybe obedient children. It gives them the opportunity to be back on track, socially, fashionably, professionally etc.

This is what I found very interesting with American parenting. It includes the mother wellness differently than in France. US mamas know how to step back and relax.  In France, their peace of mind comes from the baby’s behavior.

You give yourself no pressure whatsoever. Go grocery shopping in your PJ’s? Not a problem. Stay at home doing nothing? Not a problem. No makeup or hairdo? Not a problem. It is all about enjoying every second with your baby.

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American/French parenting, from a French expat perspective

French parenting. What a fancy way to relate to kids manners. Pamela Druckerman certainly brought it up with her famous book: Bringing Up Bébé, published in 2012.

But what does a French expatriate think of it?

First and foremost, I arrived in the US on December 2010. I loved it, I still love it, I would not leave the country for anything. Even if the culture is not as close as we can think it is. One of the biggest contrast, along with food would probably be kids behavior. I always noticed a difference but I started getting more curious about it when I was pregnant. The only way for me to understand the disparity was to read Bringing Up Bébé.  I was not disappointed. Druckerman did a great job pointing out what was the most normal things for French, the most unrealistic for Americans.

French parents teach young ones proper rules (understand “guidelines” if rules is too strong), as early as possible so it becomes a basic as they grow. Each and everyone of the guidelines have an impact on the following. It is like a snowball effect. Let’s take food for example. If you feed your kid with Mac & Cheese, Cheerios, meatballs and Gold Fish (it is an extreme case of course), you cannot expect him/her to eat vegetables at 5,6 or  7 years old because you decided to. It is best to start early and continue, so fruits and veggies are as normal as Mac & Cheese or fries.

My observation is that American babies and toddlers tend to take control more than their  French cousins . Why is that? Read More »

Dad’s struggle is real. Easy ways to help him be a father.

Carrying and having a baby is quite an adventure. The challenge is physical, emotional and nervous. We know it.

But let’s pause and go back where you were before baby arrived. You had the idyll life as a couple, and it may be your motivation to go a step forward. Or it may not but, you had it going for you anyway.

Baby’s arrival disrupts the couple balance.

No matter how arduous this is, mothers have prepared (consciously and unconsciously) for it, pretty much all their life.  Nobody can deny women are (at least physically) intended to give birth. We’ve prepared for years and bonded 9 months to be ready to meet baby.

Dads do not possess the ability to build-up the same mental and emotional strength. This must be brutal for them. They are way behind us and need to catch-up very fast, what we’ve built for all this time.

Read More »